Best Tear Jerker Movies

So, I was having lunch with a co-worker when we started to talk about the all time best tear-jerkers.  You know the movies that make you cry every bloody time you watch?  "I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could!"  You sing it, M'Lynn.

If that scene in Steel Magnolia's doesn't make you cry, you have no soul.  I'm just tear-jerkin' your chain,  So, what did top our list?  Read on to see my bleary-eyed best.  Keep in mind I won't watch anything that has an injured animal in it, so if you're expecting Old Yeller, you won't find it. I've never seen it and never will. And, unfortunately for you dudes, many of these are chick flicks.  But, I challenge you to watch and not get a little sniffly.

Best Movie for Insomniacs

Have you resigned to the fact that it's going to be a long night of not sleeping for whatever reason? Don't fight it, embrace it. Get yourself some hot cocoa, a Snuggie, and the remote and give in. *WARNING* this is only advisable if the next day is a Saturday, Sunday or if you've already committed to calling in sick. Then again, you could just pull a college-style all-nighter and rally at dawn with a 5-hour energy Red Bull Espresso. Speaking of all-nighters, did you know that Dexy's Midnight Runners of "Come on Eileen" fame named themselves after Dexedrine, a brand of dextroamphetamine popularly used as a recreational drug among Northern Soul fans in the 80s? The "midnight runners" referred to the energy the Dexedrine gave, enabling one to dance all night.

This has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood Movie Wino. Too-Rye-Ay. Now, onto the show...

The BEST Halloween Movies Ever

It was a tough decision, I'll tell you. There are so many wonderfully creepy horror movies out there. For the lovers of gore, Eli Roth never fails to disappoint. For the fans of the supernatural, Stephen King is your man.

So what does a horror movie aficionado think is the best? Here is my list of the top 17 Scariest Movies to watch this Halloween weekend. Why 17? Because that's how I roll....and I couldn't stop at 10 or 15:

For the Sardonic in You: Death to Smoochy

Yes. I had taken a bit of a non-wine-induced hiatus. But, I'm back, with vim, vigor, and vino. If you haven't seen Death to Smoochy, and died laughing, you're not quite "off" enough.

You probably don't like David Sedaris or Arrested Development either. That's not my fault. But, there's still hope.

About Smoochy...
A darkly humorous tale for the sick and twisted like yours truly. Fired in disgrace, kids show host Rainbow Randolph Smiley (Robin Williams) finds himself out on the street, while his replacement Sheldon Mopes (Ed Norton), finds himself on the fast track to success with a new hit show as the proud purple rhino Smoochy. But things take a turn for the worst when Sheldon finds out that some of the people that he works with, and some he doesn't know he's working for, are all in it for the money. Meanwhile, Randolph is slowly turning insane with his only thoughts focusing on killing Smoochy and getting back to his life of luxury. Watch the Death to Smoochy trailer.

Rainy Day Movie That You Can't Refuse

Arguably better than the original, the roots and rise of a young Don Vito(Robert De Niro), and the ascension of Michael (Al Pacino) as the new Don make The Godfather Part II one of my faves of all time. That's right, I said better. You wanna go to the mattresses?

Sit down with a bowl of pasta in your PJs and watch them all if you can commit.

If I Were a John Hughes Movie's New Wave 80s Soundtrack

No one could quite sum up life as a teenager in the 80s like John Hughes.

It was Some Kind of Wonderful to think that in the 80s, when there were Sixteen Candles on my birthday cake, that I was Pretty in Pink. When, in reality, after travelling by Planes, Trains, and Automobiles because I was Home Alone, my parents realized they needed a Vacation. How sad. Thank God, my Uncle Buck was in town.

My Dad really needed time off from being Mr. Mom, he could hardly believe my mom was knocked up again, really? She's Having a Baby? He was really in Dutch with the mrs. after that impromptu trip to the Great Outdoors. Could you blame him? Even The Breakfast Club got a break.

All right, all right. I know, settle down there Curly Sue. Enough of all of this Flubber. I've got to get back to some Weird Science since Ferris Bueller's Day Off made me late for the Class Reunion.

I'll stop. Even I can't take that much pun. Enough silly word plays, let's get down to brass tacks gentlemen (and ladies.) If my life were a soundtrack, I’d have to include these top 16 all time best new wave songs:

- Forever Young by Alphaville
- How Soon is Now by The Smith
- Just Like Heaven by The Cure
- She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult
- True Faith by New Order
- Desire Gene Loves Jezebel
- Chains of Love Erasure
- Peek a Boo Siouxsie and the Banshees
- Strangelove Depeche Mode
- If You Were Here The Thompson Twins
- Mad World Tears for Fears
- Tenderness General Public
- We Close Our Eyes Oingo Boingo
- What You Need INXS
- The Killing Moon Echo and the Bunnymen
- We Care A Lot Faith No More

The Over 21 Beverage

If ever there were the perfect that I couldn't live withou, it would be a Barbera d'Alba D.O.C. Hilberg-Pasquero and Fratelli Revello make good ones, but I haven’t met a Barbera I didn’t like. It’s dry and a little bitter in the beginning, but really smooth. It’s not too fruity, but it’s not too oakey (is that how you spell it? I don't know I've been drinking wine). It goes great with pizza, pasta and pungent cheeses. Now, if I were a John Hughes movie, I’d be too young to enjoy this grape. Good thing I graduated high school 20 years ago!

Strange Brew

Beer? Let's harken back to my Friday night's at Matt Sullivan's house when all we could afford was Milwaukee's Best Light (Beast Light) or Schlitz.

Smothered and Chunked

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not the female equivalent of Tucker Max. Not the female antithesis of a misogynistic pig, just...fickle, independent, solitary. Yea, that's it. Actually, I think I identify more with Laura Kipnis in her polemic: Against Love. And I quote, "So just as a thought experiment - though it will never happen to you and certainly never has - please imagine finding yourself in the contradictory position of having elected to live a life from which you now plot intricate and meticulous escapes: a subdivision getaway artist, a Houdini of the home front." I never liked Houdini.

Things that make you go hmmm.

Ok. Enough of that. Judge for yourself is Tucker was a bastard or just misunderstood in I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.

The Movie

Tucker decides to take an impromptu trip to celebrate his friend's bachelor party. He drags his friend into a lie with his fiancée, gets him into trouble and then abandons him in order to pursue a hilarious carnal interest. Tucker is disinvited to the wedding, and in order to get back in, Tucker has to find a way to balance his narcissism with the demands of friendship.

The Wine

The Dante Merlot makes itself to the table as a smooth red with no edges; drinks smoothly from start to finish; tart red flavors abound.

The Devil's Brew

Belgian Beer no.6: Duvel, the devil beer. Duvel means ‘the devil’ in Flemish. And a devilish beer it is.

We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes

Now, most everyone knows Janet Leigh is Jamie Lee Curtis' mother, and that Alfred Hitchcock always made a cameo appearance in his movies. But, did you know that Anthony Perkins became an ordained minister and performed the marriage of actor Dennis Hopper to his fourth wife, Katherine LaNasta, in 1989?

Come in out of the rain; we have 12 vacancies. 12 cabins, 12 vacancies.

The Movie

Based on Robert Bloch's book, Psycho is the tale of Marion Crane, a Phoenix, Arizona working girl fed up with having to sneak away during lunch breaks to meet her lover, Sam Loomis, who cannot get married because most of his money goes towards alimony. One Friday, Marion's employer asks her to take $40,000 in cash to a local bank for deposit. Desperate to make a change in her life, she impulsively leaves town with the money, determined to start a new life with Sam in California. As night falls and a torrential rain obscures the road ahead of her, Marion turns off the main highway. Exhausted from the long drive and the stress of her criminal act, she decides to spend the night at the desolate Bates Motel. The motel is run by Norman Bates, a peculiar young man dominated by his invalid mother. After Norman fixes her a light dinner, Marion goes back to her room for a shower....

Wine

How about a glass of Pommard like bottle used in the film Notorious by Alfred Hitchcock-- the most famous bottle of wine in the history of cinema. Mischief and Mayhem - Pommard Clos de L'Orgelot is a nice blood red wine with red berry, vanilla and nutmeg.

Beer

Insanity is an oak-aged English-style Barleywine from the Weyerbacher brewery in Pennsylvania.

Penchant for the Prosaic?

O Captain, my captain. In 1950s New England, before there were iPhones, Blu Ray and Blogs, men read poetry. Well, not right out in the open, more like holed up in a cave, but none the less Carpe Diem was the motto of the Dead Poet's Society. Woo, those non-conformists prep school boys knew how to party.

Seriously, though, it's one of my all time favorite movies with a wicked awesome cast.

The Movie

Painfully shy Todd Anderson (Ethan Hawke) has been sent to the school where his popular older brother was valedictorian. His room-mate, Neil (Robert Sean Leonard), although exceedingly bright and popular, is very much under the thumb of his overbearing father (Kurtwood Smith). The two, along with their other friends, meet Professor Keating (Robin Williams), their new English teacher, who tells them of the Dead Poets Society, and encourages them to go against the status quo. Each, in their own way, does this, and are changed for life.

The Whine

Freshly peeled grapefruit and a hint of ripe pear define Poet's Leap Riesling. Bright acidity gives the wine its vibrancy and a touch of sweetness (like me).

The Brew

Baltimore-Washington Beer Works, of Baltimore, Maryland produces a beer named for one of the most famous poems of our time, The Raven: Special Lager.

"Filled with mingled cream and amber I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber through the chamber of my brain - Quaintest thoughts - queerest fancies come to life and fade away. What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today."
— Edgar Allen Poe

Scottish or Fear of Committment

If you want to connect with your Scottish heritage...or someone else's Scottish heritage...or maybe you're wondering what might happen if you marry someone with a robust history, you'll learn plenty from Mike Myers and Mike Myers and Anthony LaPaglia in So, I Married an Axe Murderer.

Head! Pants! Now!

The Movie
Charlie MacKenzie is a dedicated San Francisco coffeehouse poet, whose poems revolve around his numerous failed relationships. Every one that ends on his doing because of some weird, inexcusable paranoia. His best friend Tony and mother May can only criticize him for his wrong-doings. But Charlie believes he very well may have found the perfect woman in Harriet, a meat butcher with a heart of gold. But Charlie begins suspecting something about Harriet that may not be so perfect.

Woman...woooooman.

The Wine
There Squire Winery in NC offers a Highlander Cabernet Sauvignon-Merlot.
Lightly spiced with hints of oak, the medium bodied red is a smooth blend of Cabernet, Sauvignon and Merlot grapes.


The Beer
Unless you live in California or New York, you currently have to go to BrewDog's website, and order Tactical Nuclear Penguin. It's a Scottish beer that has--get this--32% alcohol by volume.

A warning label on the Tactical Nuclear Penguin bottle does state, "This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance. It is exactly the same manner you would enjoy a fine whisky, a Frank Zappa album or a visit from a friendly yet anxious ghost."

Read more: World's Strongest Beer: BrewDog's Alcohol Heads to U.S. - TIME

And, just for this one, the Whisky...
I'm not a big scotch person, though I love the smell, but from what my scottish whisky drinking friends tell me, Laphroaig 10 Year Single Malt Whisky is supposed to be awesome.

If it's not Scottish, it's crap!

Obsequious

How do I love thee? Let me count the bunnies boiling on the stove. In 1987, Alex Forrest made men everywhere think twice about extracurricular activities. She was the original psycho chick. Can anyone listen to Madame Butterfly objectively after that?

The Movie

In Fatal Attraction, happily married New York lawyer Dan Callagher has an affair with his colleague Alex, and the two enjoy a love weekend while Dan's wife and kid are away. But Alex will not let go of him, and she will stop at nothing to have him for herself. Just how far will she go to get what she wants?

Ummm...too far. Too too far. Way over the ledge. Little known nugget of trivia? Glenn Close still has "the knife" hanging in her kitchen.

Wine a Little

The Tait Vineyard in Australia actually has a Shiraz-Cabernet-Merlot blend called, "The Ball Buster."


Beer Goggles

Arcadia Cocoa Loco Pale Ale makes everyone look pretty.

Entrepreneurial

So there I was at the Blackjack table with all my wash 'n' dries... did I tell you I had they idea for them first?

After Henry Winkler jumped the shark and before Michael Keaton was dropping off and picking up in Mr. Mom, Ron Howard paired the two in a not-so-well-known gem, Night Shift. Loooove brokers.

The Movie

A nebbish of a morgue attendant gets shunted back to the night shift where he is shackled with an obnoxious neophyte partner who dreams of the "one great idea" for success. His life takes a bizarre turn when a prostitute neighbour complains about the loss of her pimp. His partner, upon hearing the situation, suggests that they fill that opening themselves using the morgue at night as their brothel. Against his better judgement, he gets talked into the idea, only to find that it's more than his boss that has objections to this bit of entrepreneurship.

The Wine

This is Chuck telling Bill to Drink Up. Two Buck Chuck seems appropriate. Try Charles Shaw's Sauvingon Blanc; it's light and grapefruity.

Blue Collar Beer

Three words...Pabst Blue Ribbon

Feeling Paranoid?

I think of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?" Or, perhaps Rockwell who made us ponder "Who IS watching me?" Just when I'm feeling skeevy, I hearken back to Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly who's collective instability turned out to be.... well, spot on.

You'll definitely feel much more balanced when you see what paranoia really is in Rear Window.

The Movie

Professional photographer L.B. "Jeff" Jeffries breaks his leg while getting an action shot at an auto race. Confined to his New York apartment, he spends his time looking out of the rear window observing the neighbors. He begins to suspect that a man across the courtyard may have murdered his wife. Jeff enlists the help of his high society fashion-consultant girlfriend Lisa Freemont and his visiting nurse Stella to investigate.

If only they had a nice mellow glass of fermented grapes to take the edge off.

The Wine

Cline Vineyard Bridgehead Zinfandel. Dangerous and lethal, guaranteed to wallop...but it's got class with blackberry, toasty vanilla and chocolate. It's watching you.

Beer Me

Unibroue La Fin Du Monde. How can you not love a beer that calls itself "End of the World?"

Hungover

Your mouth is as dry as a box of Triscuits, you have some obsure stamp on the back of your hand (and cheek), and there's a film over your eyes like you have early onset glaucoma. You're hungover. Celebrate the moment--Todd Phillips did.

The Flick

The Hangover. Two days before his wedding, Doug Billings travels to his bachelor party in Las Vegas with his best friends, Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), Alan (Zach Galifianakis). Alan proposes a toast to Doug and they drink his booze-- that's the last thing they remember.

All you need to know if you've been under a rock and haven't seen this one is there's a baby in the wardrobe; a tiger in the bathroom; a chicken in the room; Stu has a missing tooth; and Doug is missing.

The Wine

You might still be drunk, but you know what they say about the hair of that dog... Try a quicker picker upper like a mimosa made with Shramsberg Blanc de Blanc Sparkling White.

Burrrrp. Mmm. Beer.

There's actually a beer called the Delirium Tremens out of Belgium. When in Bruges...

Feeling Frisky as a Feline?

If you and your love muffin are looking for some ideas on how to spice things up a bit, you can take some cues from a bored housewife and an exotic bookseller in the drama / romance / thriller, Unfaithful.

The Flick

Connie Sumner has a loving husband, a beautiful home, and a wonderful son, but she wants more. When she's approached one day by a handsome stranger while trying to hail a taxi, she becomes obsessed with him and eventually starts an affair. But her selfish actions soon catch up with her.

Good lord. All I have to say is, it was the only movie that played on TV when I was in Italy. Smoldering in ANY language. Adultery shmadultery.

The Wine

You name it. Jesus. Anything to put out the flames. For this one, try a sensual red Pinot Noir with flavors like dark berries, violets, warm spices and orange peel like Louis Jadot or Cavit.

What's on Tap?

What else...a Loose Canon.

Just Plain Pissed

Work got you down? In dutch with the misses? Did some a-hole cut you off just in time to leave you with the red light? Not to fear. Chuck Palahniuk is here.

Whether you want to live vicariously through Tyler Durden or beat yourself up like Ed Norton, Fight Club is hands down (or fists up) the best fight movie of all time. So cleansing. For the ladies, three words: Brad Pitt's Abs.

The Flick

A ticking-time-bomb insomniac and a slippery soap salesman channel primal male aggression into a shocking new form of therapy. Their concept catches on, with underground "fight clubs" forming in every town, until an eccentric gets in the way and ignites an out-of-control spiral toward oblivion.

Hands down one of the best movies of the decade; and the birth of the MMA movement.

The Wine

The wine? In this case, I like mine smokey and spicy like the cast. Try Elderton Shiraz a Syrah from South Australia.

A dark berry flavor with hints of licorice. Whip it good.

Beer Bellies...

Try a Heinekien from Lou's. (Pssst. That's the bar in Fight Club. Stick with me here kids.)

Dark, Stormy or Brooding

Nothing cheers me up like a good slasher flick. The formula common sense-challenged teens + dark alleys + alcohol and tomfoolery (that’s right I said tomfoolery) = a match made in dreamscape. Call on, Freddy Krueger from the original Nightmare on Elm Street.

The Flick

On Elm Street, Nancy Thompson and a group of her friends including Tina Gray, Rod Lane and Glen Lantz are being tormented by a clawed killer in their dreams named Freddy Krueger. Nancy must think quickly, as Freddy tries to pick off his victims one by one. When he has you in your sleep, who is there to save you?

Sleep kills. Then again, so does a steady diet of red meat, fried food and soda. Clean it up will ya? Have some grilled chicken and asparagus with a nice red varietal. Freddy can’t reach you here.

The Wine

2006 Ehlers Estate St. Helena Cabernet Sauvignon 1886

This stuff is delicious. You can taste the cherry, caramel and tobacco especially with a slice of dark chocolate.

C’mon you know you want some.

Modified for Beer Drinkers...

If you don’t like dark red wine, surely you could go for a Rogue Shakespeare Oatmeal Stout.